Salutations, my fairly acquainted confidants. I feel rather obliged to inform you that my spacebar is failing to officiate expediently. Opie, I do sense that it would be just delectable, and maybe even more indulging in your own appetence if you would interchange your epithet from Opie to something analagous to... oh, maybe "Cheese" or something that pertains to your particular interests. I did not intend to insinuate that I was not gladdened with your prevailing cognomen, but I do recollect that you have erstwhile displayed feelings of discontentment about certain issues concerning the welfare of your title. Oh! I nearly let it slip from my gray matter that I was going to advise you that my arch rival Melkin and I have recently resumed our heated exhibit of vocabularic knowledge. Do feel compelled to affiliate with our battle at any time, as we are always welcoming new competitors. Ah, but until you elect to do so, you may portray the most instigating role of "judge", determining whose insertion appears more brilliant. Alas, I must at the present hour depart from my computer and indulge myself in some fairly intellectual activities such as Bible study and consumption of food.
Until we meet again (grr...),
-Tiffany